Introduction

As I set out on this adventure to help others, I think it’s important for my viewers to know a little more about me so my heart is transparent. So here it goes… 
Growing up I never had my eyes fixated on any certain career. Professions didn’t define a person and certainly didn’t matter to me. Family did. It’s ironic that family was the most important to me because I didn’t have a great one. I was raised by two incredibly narcissistic people. Maybe that was my drive to be different, with better values. 

God was mentioned from time to time in our home, but was never something we were taught or encouraged to find or follow. When my family fell apart and my parents began a nasty divorce in my 8th grade year, I think I needed a refuge. I remember having talked with God before this time, acknowledging He existed, never thinking beyond. But this is the time I can remember taking steps towards Him. Note – Still not claiming to be a follower of Him. I’m not sure I really understood what that meant. 

In high school, I was pretty much a loner. I had acquaintances, but not many true friends. I put a smile on my face and went to school every day. I’m not sure there was anyone that knew the true hell I was enduring at home. This time is also when I took it upon myself to get involved in a church. It was a church trip to Panama City Beach where I committed to follow God, but still didn’t really get what that meant. 

In March 1995, I married with the intentions of it being forever. Marriage was important to me and I didn’t take it lightly. Family was still my most important focus and I was determined to build a better family than I had growing up. The problem with this plan is I never asked God what He thought about my choices. Deep down – I knew I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I knew I had made some very poor choices. Warning signs were there way before I walked down that isle. A desperation to be loved and passion to build a family blinded me. One of my issues, my father and mother, in their narcissistic traits, had been emotionally and verbally abusive.  But it was all I had ever known and didn’t see it as abuse. That was a term used for women and children with black eyes and beaten skulls. It was years later when I realized I had only gone with more of what I’d known and jumped from the frying pan into the fire. As it turned out, I landed with a man who was emotionally, verbally, financially, sexually and physically abusive. Add in a master at manipulation, and I was in a pretty miserable situation, and a life I definitely didn’t want, nor was it pleasing to God. It was only after the birth of my first daughter that I came to some serious realizations. As a mom myself now, I wanted so desperately to give her a better life than I had. I wanted to protect her and provide so much more for her with the ability to offer her stability.  One day after a very large fight and incident, I knew if I didn’t get out, I was going to teach her the way I was living was , and she’d end up in the same places I found myself in on that day. 

February 27, 1999 I married my best friend and soul mate. I had grown enough in my faith to know this time what I was doing was in God’s plan. This man was one God had chosen for me. Things weren’t perfect and we had hurdles to overcome, but I could look in his eyes and know that he loved me. It all felt right and this was where I would make my home and create the life I had always dreamt of – and I did. Even though I sit where I am today, I don’t regret my decision. I don’t feel it was the wrong one. We had our problems – every married couple does. But overall, we had a good marriage and did so many things right. We went on to have three more beautiful children. We fought through some hard life battles and always came out stronger on the other side. We created some wonderful and lasting memories. All of which has made this journey so much harder, more traumatic, but none of which I would trade for the world. And if I had any choice in the matter, we’d still be married today, living the life we created and always dreamt of. It still wouldn’t be perfect, and never would it be problem free, but it would be our imperfect world together under God’s plan. Sadly, it takes two people to make a marriage work and only one to destroy it. He wasn’t interested in fighting for our marriage. His vows and promises to God didn’t mean to him what they meant to me. Ironically, on the same day I bring this site and passion to life, we would have celebrated our 25th Anniversary. However, our marriage, promises to God, and love for one another is all a thing of the past.

So, this is my journey and what brings me to where I am today. It is my full intent and goal to use my experiences, knowledge and heart for others to save other families from the immeasurable pain, trauma and destruction that comes with divorce. Even if I only help just one – it makes what my family and I have endured more worth it. But with great prayer, I hope it’s more than one. I hope it’s many, and our pain and suffering can help change the world, one marriage at a time.